Balance: The Art of Self-Control

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." - Confucius

How often have you heard the term balance and not really understood what it meant due to its over-flooded use in books, articles, or conversation?

The definition of balance according to dictionary.com is: a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution ofweight, amount, etc.; something used to produce equilibrium; counterpoise; mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment; a state of bodily equilibrium. 


Many of us posture about balance, but tend to make it more complicated than need be. For our purposes today, the balance I'm referring to is the ability to exercise self-control between our wants and needs. Balancing our desire's starts with knowing ourselves well and being keenly aware of our motives behind the desire. 


For example, evaluating hunger; being aware of when your last meal was and identifying if perhaps your hunger is from another source like an emotional trigger. Many of us hunger for food, love, attention, sex, and intimacy in our lives and while it is natural, too much of any one thing isn't healthy. What starts out as a basic human need, can easily turn into an obsession, compulsion, or worse...addiction!


The art of self-control is all about personal awareness. Recognizing your feelings from moment to moment and having healthy ways to cope or manage them is the difference between a life of balance and one of chaos. Having a supportive group of peers that you can vent frustrations to, who will really listen without jumping down the rabbit hole with you is also vital to maintaining balance and perspective. 


A word about coping tools. While I will write about this more in depth in another post, I'll mention a few ideas on the subject. Basically, these tools range from good self-care, to self-help, all the way to getting professional help by way of counseling and everything in between. They are as unique as the individual although common to most of us. Some examples include: Naps, journaling, meditation, exercise, reaching out to friends/loved ones when upset, reading, reciting affirmations, yoga, shopping, play, laughter, watching movies, and yes...blogging or texting. 


Tell me what balance means to you? I look forward to hearing your viewpoint and examples of this

Napping!

Ahh, how I enjoy a good nap! Lately I've become nocturnal, sleeping much throughout the day since I live in a desert and its only nice in the evening.

Napping is good for the mind and body as I find it restorative in many ways.

Today, I slept all afternoon and it was magnificent. I slept right thru 113 degree high and was transported to another place. Afterwards, I was refreshed and able to think clearer. My attitude and outlook improved from a place of fear and high emotions to peace and faith once again.

Napping restored me to sanity and serenity, of which I am extremely grateful.

What can napping do for you? Try it and see. Another wonderful benefit is the ability to start your day all over again from fresh!

Earlier this morning my husband and I were arguing over money and his new job and I wasn't able to be very supportive. After running some errands, eating breakfast and returning to bed, I was a new woman and back to my usual, positive, self. Yes, we made up (my hubby and I) and calmer heads have prevailed, but the key was that using some extreme self-care helps in a multitude of ways.

So does prayer and meditation and time alone. A combination of all 4 is what usually does the trick for me. Find what works for you and practice it often!

Procrastinating

I just worked 16 hrs in the last 2 days preparing for a class I was teaching that I knew about for over a month. While I had begun the process of preparing, I had much more to go and before I knew it, the class was 2 days away.

I tend to be a busy person anyway and so this wasn't my only project going on. I am taking a public speaking class for seminary that I'm a student of. (2 be a minister). I am also planning a writing group out of my home starting next week!

Why do I procrastinate even though I swear I won't and feel depleted afterward because I didn't pace myself? Why do I think the best at the 11th hour?

Why have I been staying up so late, even when I know it messes up my sleep patterns?

What would "Extreme Self Care" guru Cheryl Richardson say about all this? Lighten up! Accept what I think is unacceptable and move on. Live & learn.